"For my next number ... "
Sally (a stand-up comic) and Melissa (who writes satire) present the following numerical humour for your enjoyment.
"I make seven figures. Unfortunately there's a decimal point in there."
The only time a pie chart is appropriate is at a baker's convention.
Drink is the cause of 80% of kebab sales in Manchester on a Friday night.
It is proven that the celebration of birthdays is healthy. Statistics show that those people who celebrate the most birthdays become the oldest.
S. den Hartog
"USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population."
"Pleasant folk, these statisticians."
"Yes, even the mean statistician is quite nice."
A statistician is a mathematician broken down by age and sex.
Never show a bar chart at an AA meeting.
A statistician can have his head in an oven and his feet in ice, and he will say that on the average he feels fine.
"Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics."
Q: Did you hear the one about the statistician?
A: Probably ...
For some excellent chart humour, go to SatireWire
We don't know the origin for many of the above jokes - if you do know, please tell us and we'll attribute it.